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A Time to Love

By Rich Blue

What could be more precious than love? Our addictions, both hard and soft, are simply analgesics numbing us from our hunger pain arising from our lack of love. Is there a word in our language of greater significance that is used more casually than love? We “love” our coffee, sex, our Nike’s, our Ganache chocolate, 24 (TV series), our Chicago Bears, our flat screen TV to mention just a few.

What’s the answer to Tina Turner’s question, “What's love got to do, got to do with it?” Everything! The master creator of the universe designed human beings to love. When we are not actively involved in loving we are not living. So much of what we worry and obsess about and compulsively pursue has very little to do with love. When our lives are about loving we are not only being nourished but we are nourishing others at the same time.

What is love? Well the Apostle Paul, in the 13th chapter of 1 Corinthians, tells us what love is (patient & kind) and isn’t (proud, rude, self-seeking, easily angered), doesn’t do (envy, boast, keep record of wrongs, delight in evil or fail) and does do (rejoices with the truth, protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres). I think Paul’s list is representative and not exhaustive. Paul wants his readers to think about the principles underlying this list of characteristics.

Love is always about the business of promoting growth. The Apostle John, in the 15th chapter of his gospel, referred to this growth as fruit—the tangible product of the healthy vine. It is no accident that the first fruit of the Spirit mentioned in this list is love. Love is not always nice, comfortable or painless. Often, some of the most loving acts are the hardest and most painful.

One of Jesus’ harshest rebukes was given to Peter, his most passionate disciple, immediately following his renowned profession of faith. Right after Peter had pronounced Jesus as the long awaited Messiah, he got scared and tried to dissuade Jesus from returning to Jerusalem because of the threats made on his life. In response, Jesus turned to him and said, “Get behind me Satan.” Wow—how quickly we can slide from the top to the bottom. This comment was not nice but it was loving. As my mentor, Bob Wright, says, “Truth is love.”

For Jesus to accomplish his mission and for the ultimate growth of the church, it was vital that Jesus return to Jerusalem and eventually be crucified. There may have been no more difficult temptation that Jesus faced than when Peter suggested he bypass Jerusalem and avoid his death on the cross. This is why Jesus had to rebuke Peter with such strong language, because Peter’s self-interest, although superficially caring, was not loving—it did not have Jesus’ growth and harvest of fruit foremost in his mind.

Peter could not see beyond his own desire to protect Jesus from danger. Love is so much more than mere sentiment. It is a choice to act in a manner that promotes personal and spiritual growth. At times it can be kind and tender while at other times it needs to be firm and direct. A loving person, like a gardener, is one who acts in the overall best interest of the individual, ultimately seeking to empower others to do God’s will. As Solomon said in the book of Ecclesiastes, “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven”—a time to plant, uproot, prune and harvest.

Growing In Love

By Jennifer Parsons

When I think of the fruits of the spirit, visions of perfect orchards float through my head. Because oranges are my favorite fruit, I imagine orange trees with only perfect fruit. But, when I compare myself to these trees, I get overwhelmed and frustrated. I feel much more like a scraggily pine tree, tall and thin with no fruit. Truth be told, the fruit is phony and duct taped onto my branches. It is as if the fake fruit will make me appear together and full of life, but the tape is a dead give-a-way that my fruit is not genuine. I like to think I manifest the fruit of love in my life and then turn right around and try to fix my husband, friends and family.

So, I again look at the beautiful orange tree. I do not sense the tree trying to force the production of fruit. The tree simply lives fully each and every day, looking to God, the earth and man for nurturing. The tree trusts that God will give it what it needs as long as it keeps its roots firmly planted in the earth. Firmly rooted and grounded, that is what I want most to be.

An orange tree does need to tend to itself in order to stay beautiful. It needs to be trimmed and pruned and occasionally fertilized in order to produce good fruit. For me to produce good fruit I must look at my mistaken beliefs and prune those that are not getting the results I want. One of my beliefs, “I’m only worthy of love if I’m perfect”, came from my hunger for acceptance. As a child, I believed that I was loved and accepted only when I was “the golden child”. As a result, I developed an artificial fruit that looked happy all the time and covered my pain and sadness. I also began to expect a false self from others, scared that their true pain might somehow expose mine.

Orange trees also have a way of reacting and asserting themselves that I want to incorporate in my life. When they do not get enough water, they begin to wilt and then fight back by pushing their roots to dig deeper in order to find the nutrition they need. I, too, need to monitor my needs, feel my feelings and assert myself by naming my hungers and going for them.

I love orange trees because of their seemingly unlimited production of fruit for others. They provide oxygen, seeds, and fruit that are possible only because they take care of themselves first. I too am growing and developing as I move from my scarcity and self-limiting beliefs to loving others and loving God. My growth is to accept myself and pass on that same love and acceptance to others. I want to continue to prune and nurture myself as I strive to commit to bearing the fruit of loving myself and others. Where do you need to live more fully and love more genuinely? I invite you to remove the duct tape and fake fruit of your life and trust God and the process of personal growth to produce the real thing in your life.

Upcoming CLE Events

Men of Character

What would you say you hunger and thirst for? I remember one of the times when I was hunger was when I was 29 years old and trying to get into graduate. What would you say thirst for? I remember one of the times when I was most aware of my hunger was when I trying to get into graduate What would you say you hunger and thirst for?

Spring Retreat  May 18 - 20, 2007

Fall Retreat  November 2 -4 , 2007

New Faces at CLE

CLE would like to welcome Jenn Eaton to our team. She will be working with us on Monday mornings, Thursday ‘s 9:30—2:30 pm and Friday’s 9:30-3:30 pm supporting our administrative needs. She can assist you with scheduling appointments for Rich, Gabriela and Jennifer, and answering questions regarding your payments. She recently relocated to Deerfield with her husband and two children from Dayton, Ohio.  Jennifer has a Bachelor’s Degree in Social Work.  Her social work career has primarily focused on working with persons with developmental disabilities.  While her husband attends Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, Jennifer divides her time between her roles as a wife and mom, coordinator of Trinity’s Mom’s Ministry, and CLE’s administrative assistant.  She is also involved in various ministries at North Suburban Evangelical Free Church.  Jennifer brings valuable gifts to our team and we would love for you to stop in and meet her.

Running/Walking Club

The CLE Running/Walking Club was started by Nancy Rollins, who is an avid runner. Her vision for the group is to use exercise as a metaphor for personal growth. Nancy views the training and striving necessary to succeed in running and walking as the same qualities needed to succeed in life. The club offers people a tangible way to practice the skills necessary to reach their life goals. Running and walking are sports often characterized by individualism and isolation but Nancy’s vision is for people to experience the benefits of belonging to a supportive community. Participants take on challenges, set goals and provide mutual encouragement and accountability. The Running/Walking Club meets the first Saturday of each month from 8:00-10:00 at the CLE office.

CLE's Groups

CLE has a variety of groups to choose from. Please contact Christina at (847) 272-3684 ext. 10 if you would like more information about a specific group.

Staff Directory

Richard Blue, M.A., LCPC, NCC
Clinical Director
(847) 333-9933

Nancy Rollins, M.S., LCPC, NCC
nrollins@center-4-life.com
(847) 333-9082

Gabriela Caballero Cantú, M.A., LPC
gcantu@center-4-life.com
(847) 333-6401

Jennifer Parsons, M.A., MFT
jpsarons@center-4-life.com
(847) 333-0064

Christina Norman
Office Manager
cnorman@center-4-life.com
(847) 333-3684 ext. 10

Jenn Eaton
Administrative Assistant
jeaton@center-4-life.com
(847) 333-3684 ext. 10